During their presentation, April Pereira, above, pointed at photos of their family members: their grandfather and great-grandfather. “They were my first allies.” Their older relatives always told them to be who they were.

At the queer students luncheon on June 2, Pereira shared how their childhood affected their identity and delayed them coming out as genderless and queer until later in life.

“I convinced myself that’s who I was”

Raised in the immigrant community of Fall River, MA, Pereira was “constantly under pressure to enculturate and assimilate”. The pressure increased when they moved from Massachusetts to California, where their interest in baseball and accent put them at odds with societal expectations. The AIDs epidemic, which raged on while they grew, added extra pressure to be “normal”.

“The more you adhere to ‘normalcy,’ the easier life was. So that’s what I did. I convinced myself I was a girl, and that’s who I became.” Pereira also cited their Gen-X attitude of pushing feelings aside as a way to cope with what was inside. “I was locking it in a closet all the time, and it came out in other ways.”

That included depression and post-partum depression, anxiety, unhealthy relationships, suicidal tendencies, and self-destructive actions.

How a collapse led to discovery

One day, the pressure became too much. They cracked in what they described as a Tacoma Bridge collapse, citing the famous 1940 incident. Finally going to therapy, they were diagnosed with gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia. They heard a clear message: “April, you need to be you… sit with your emotions.”

When Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC) led them to intensive chemotherapy, they had hours to sit in a chair and little energy or brain power to do much but sit and think. Finally forced to sit with their emotions, they realized, “Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I letting other people define me? Why am I making space for others while making myself small?”

They overcame cancer. And they dug into their identity, revisiting their childhood years when their first allies stuck up for them. They learned more about their heritage. “We are a non-gendered culture. Gender is an action; it is a verb. We are egalitarian.” They realized, “Gender wasn’t something I had to think about as a kid.”

Pereira, motivated by showing up for their family, did the work to explore their identity and embrace being a person without gender. They came to understand it as a lifelong journey. “There was a time when identity was treated as a destination instead of the journey it is… It’s a practice. It’s a way of living.”

Today, April has been cancer-free for over a year and is strongly involved with the local queer advocacy community.

LGBTQIA2S+ Resources

• Local resources for those in the LGBTQIA2S+ community.
• Queer Agenda, a student-led club for those in the queer community and their allies.
• Email Bevyn Rowland if you’re interested in the Queer Employee Resource Group.

About Diversity Luncheons

Hosted by the Office of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, these luncheons highlight voices in our community. Each term, the series includes a Queer Student Luncheon, a Students with Disability Luncheon, and a Students of Color luncheon. The event provides both meaningful conversation and a delicious free lunch.

While this is the last luncheon this quarter, the series will start up again in the fall term.

Photos: Clark College/Carly Rae Zent

Students gathered in the Penguin Student Lounge on January 14 for the Winter Queer Luncheon, an event designed to foster community, connection, and belonging. This term’s guest speaker, Caitlin Malvar (they/them), didn’t come alone—they were joined by their therapy dog, Oso, who has become somewhat of a Clark College celebrity.

Malvar, the Basic Needs Navigator in Clark’s new Basic Needs Hub, delivered an address titled “Be Where Your Feet Are.” Hosted each term by the Office of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, the free luncheon provides a welcoming space for queer students and allies to come together.

About Caitlin Malvar

Growing up with two supportive and competitive parents who had played collegiate sports, Malvar’s life centered around playing basketball—including playing in high school and collegiate basketball at Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff.

But then the pandemic hit. All activities—including basketball—paused. Eventually, when activities slowly started up, Malvar left the team. They earned a master’s degree during COVID. Instead of a joyful commencement ceremony surrounded by classmates, family, and friends, they sat at a laptop and watched their name scroll down the screen.

Words of wisdom from Caitlin

• “Like all of you, COVID gave me downtime to reflect on what was important to me moving forward. After I graduated with my master’s degree, it was the first time that my life wasn’t planned by a basketball coach. I kept getting hung up on the idea that I have lived, breathed, and bled basketball for the last fifteen years of my life. How the hell would I do anything else? Am I anything else?”

• “Then I remembered I was a whole human being before basketball. Sure, my parents taught me to work hard, dedicate myself to my sports, and to win. With time and space to remember who I was before basketball, I remembered they also encouraged me to try new things, to appreciate the outdoors, to learn how to cook from scratch, and to be a great friend.”

• “During the next year, these were going to be the things I was intentional about reincorporating into my life.

With parental pressure to get a real-world job, Malvar decided that rather than move back home to Portland, Oregon to find work, they would stay in Flagstaff, a small city in the northern Arizona mountains. They got a barista job in a small coffee shop.

Malvar said, “In many ways, this small coffee shop gave me my life back.” Then they recited a long list of how their first post-college job impacted their life:

“What could have just been coffee turned out to be…

• Meeting people who would reignite my love for camping.
• Finding my first queer community.
• Trading lattes for freshly harvested vegetables to cook with.
• Discovering my furry best friend, Oso.
• Embracing creativity in new ways
• Mastering the art of pizza-making
• Learning how to live off the grid.
• Meeting the love of my life
• Finding friends who would visit us in Oregon, after we moved away.”

Malvar said, “Even now, I continue to learn that life is not a race. Life is not a competition. Life is not a game that you can win or lose.” And here’s a list of their lessons learned:

“For me, this life is about …

• Building a home with those that I love and trust.
• Gathering friends around a table, sharing endless bowls of soup.
• Learning how to make things with my hands.
• Taking Oso on new adventures so he can have new dreams.
• Embracing my queer self – loving who I am and who I am becoming.
• Becoming more than I ever imagined. And in so many ways, it feels like it’s only just starting.”

Malvar said, “Slowing down and being where my feet were was the single most important thing I did when I finished school.”

Then Malvar invited everyone to visit Oso and them in the Basic Needs Hub.

Learn more about the Basic Needs Hub:

Located at Gaiser Hall GHL 216Mondays through Thursdays, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.Contact: 360-992-2766 or email  basicneeds@clark.edu

• Basic Needs Hub Opens
• Why Basic Needs are Essential by Dr. Edwards

Connect with the Office of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (ODEI):

• Diversity Center, Gaiser Hall 214
• 360-992-2292 or email: diversity@clark.edu
• www.clark.edu/cc/diversity

Save the Date: Next DEI luncheons

• February 6 at noon: Students of Color Luncheon in PUB 161
• March 6 at noon: Students with Disability Luncheon in PUB 161

Photos: Clark College/Susan Parrish

Diane DeVore (formerly Hernandez-Olortiga) has achieved some notable “firsts.” She’s a first-generation college student, the first member of her family to come out as queer, and a first-generation Latina in her family in the United States.

An academic advisor at Clark, DeVore shared her story at the first Queer Student Luncheon of the academic year on October 8. The free event is presented each term by Clark’s Office of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion to create community for students who identify as queer and allies.

DeVore grew up in Compton and Long Beach, California, and lived in a household committed to traditional gender norms, including her father who holds machismo world views. She was outed to her family when her father read her Myspace messages with her girlfriend. She said, “I was never afraid of myself, but I was scared of the world around me.” She was shaped by the pressure to come out early to a family that was not accepting.

When she had the opportunity to move out of her parents’ home, she took it. In college, she met queer and Indigenous mentors who allowed her to unlearn the gender norms and colonial thinking she grew up with. “In the queer community, especially, we ask ourselves hard questions… just by existing we are pushing against these boundaries every day.”

Her college journey was non-traditional. She dropped out twice but eventually earned her master’s degree in a primarily online program. She said “It’s okay to take breaks and step back. You’re not on anyone’s timeline but your own.”

When asked how her queer and Latina identities intersected, she said, “It took more unlearning than learning because of the machismo culture.”

Now, her relationship with her family is stable, she’s recently married, and she works at Clark helping students like herself navigate college.

She left students with three pieces of advice:

• “In the queer community, we are never really alone.”
• “Give yourself the space to grow and figure out who you want to become and unbecome.”
• “Together our stories help build for the next generation of queer community.”

Upcoming ODEI Luncheons

• October 22 @ noon: Students with Disability Luncheon in PUB 161
• November 12 @ noon: Students of Color Luncheon in PUB 161

Connect with the Office of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (ODEI)

• In-person: Diversity Center, Gaiser Hall 214
• Phone: 360-992-2292
• Email: diversity@clark.edu
• Website

Photos: Clark College/Jenny Shadley